Judith Martin Quotes - Page 4

Being listened to should be sufficiently gratifying in itself, whether or not the advice is followed.

Like language, a code of manners can be used with more or less skill, for laudable or for evil purposes, to express a great variety of ideas and emotions. In itself, it carries no moral value, but ignorance in use of this tool is not a sign of virtue.

Nobody believes that the man who says, 'Look, lady, you wanted equality,' to explain why he won't give up his seat to a pregnant woman carrying three grocery bags, a briefcase, and a toddler is seized with the symbolism of idealism.

[after the death of a loved one] It is when there is nothing more to be done that the reality of the loss often hits with full force.

Hypocrisy is not generally a social sin, but a virtue.

What is Thanksgiving without a nutty relative?

Etiquette is about all of human social behavior. Behavior is regulated by law when etiquette breaks down or when the stakes are high - violations of life, limb, property and so on. Barring that, etiquette is a little social contract we make that we will restrain some of our more provocative impulses in return for living more or less harmoniously in a community.

A general rule of etiquette is that one apologizes for the unfortunate occurrence, but the unthinkable is unmentionable.

People say when you're in love, you don't need etiquette. Well, you need it then more than anything. Or they say, "At home I can just be myself." What they mean is they can be their worst selves... They always mean they will save all their anxiety about how to behave for somebody like the head waiter of a restaurant, someone they'll never see again.

What we have come to, through a combination of popular psychology and expanding technology, is a presumption that all our thoughts and feelings are worth uttering.

People who put slipcovers, doilies, plastic protectors, and cellophane on everything good that they own rarely live to see an occasion so good that all these covers are removed.

Try not to annoy your relatives unnecessarily.

Everybody's an art critic.

Only a person who considers himself too good for you is good enough.

it's no longer socially acceptable to make bigoted statements and racist remarks. Some people are having an awful time with that: 'I didn't know anybody would be offended!' Well, where have you been? I remember when people got away with it and they don't anymore. That's fabulous.

Greece is a good place for rebirths.

You glance at an e-mail. You give more attention to a real letter.

Learn graceful ways of saying no and of pointing out that this pressure to do something is not in line with most people's wishes.

It is said that dispensing advice is easy. What is difficult is getting anyone to listen to it.

Appearing to pay attention when someone is speaking is one of the cornerstones of real social interaction.

Visiting the sick is supposed to exhibit such great virtue that there are some people determined to do it whether the sick like it or not. ... All visitors everywhere are supposed to make plans to depart if they observe their hosts visibly wilting or in pain, but this is especially true at hospitals.

A wedding invitation is sent by people who have been saying, "Do we have to ask them?" to people whose first response is, "How much do you think we have to spend on them?

People will say, 'Seventy isn't old, it's middle-aged,' and I think, middle of what - 140?

The one prediction that never comes true is, 'You'll thank me for telling you this.

The challenge of manners is not so much to be nice to someone whose favor and/or person you covet (although more people need to be reminded of that necessity than one would suppose) as to be exposed to the bad manners of others without imitating them.